I want to be able to order him to fuck or otherwise serve anybody I want. I want him to exist solely to please me. I want to beat him, humiliate him, and have him accept it because I want to do it. I know it’s too early to ask if you’re there, but do you think that’s a place you could get to?? I responded, ?Sir, I don’t know. I’ve had so many new experiences in just the past few hours, I don’t know how to respond to questions about so much more. I do think I could get to that point for somebody, but I don’t know if that person is you. I’ve enjoyed this, or at least most of it, but I’m not attracted to you, and I’m never going to be attracted to you. I’m into women, not men. I don’t know if I could ever get to the point of existing solely for another man’s happiness. That’s asking a lot.? ?I understand, and I expected that would be your answer. Here’s what I can do: you submit to me as my slave. You commit yourself to serving me and pleasing me, in all the ways you can. And that’s a good thing.”She sagged against me and I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly.“I’m afraid,” she whispered.“Of what? You do a great job with the kids. Until you slept with Jason at Christmas you’ve basically been monogamous for better than a year. You’ll be fine!”“But me? A wife? A mom? That’s nuts!”“Before? Yes. Now? No. In the last three years you’ve become a brand-new person. There have been quite a few big changes in your life! And all for the better.”“Sometimes I wonder about that.”“That’s normal, too. I have the same struggles. You know that.”“I know,” she sighed.We sat quietly in the tub for the next ten minutes or so, with the water sloshing around us.“Will you take me to bed now?” she asked.“Yes.”She turned, and with a very serious look on her face, stared deeply into my eyes, “Don’t plan on sleeping.”March 30, 1992, Chicago, Illinois“You really seem to be dragging this morning,” Gina said when we finished our run.“I didn’t get much sleep last night..
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